Brrr № 047 · a weather app with opinions

The weather app
that's disappointed
in you the sky.

Forecasts you already knew, delivered by a narrator who has clearly given up on the atmosphere. Accurate to the degree. Honest to a fault.

Download on the App Store
★★★★☆
4.6 · "rude but correct"
judging you since 17:20
humidity 46%
23°
UV 3 · moderate
falling ↓
suspiciously pleasantdon't get attachedrain arrives saturday, bring skepticismthe sky is behavingactively hostile in phoenixpunitive in reykjavík suspiciously pleasantdon't get attachedrain arrives saturday, bring skepticismthe sky is behavingactively hostile in phoenixpunitive in reykjavík
The Daily Judgment

Every forecast comes with
an unsolicited opinion.

Open the app and the weather doesn't just report — it editorializes. A fresh roast, written daily, in a voice you choose and a temper you set.

Judgment · Today · Cartagena
"The sky is behaving. Don't get attached."
Twenty-three degrees and partly cloudy is Murcia's way of saying it has better things to do than impress you — and yet it keeps showing up at exactly 23°. Suspicious.
— The Deadpan Curator
Pick a Narrator

Seven voices. One weather.

The data never changes. The attitude is entirely up to you — and so is how much it's allowed to swear.

01

The Deadpan Curator

"23°, partly cloudy. The atmosphere is doing the bare minimum and expects applause."
02

Unhinged Meteorologist

"PRESSURE'S FALLING AND SO ARE MY STANDARDS. Saturday is coming for you specifically."
03

The Existential Poet

"A crescent moon. A falling barometer. We are all, briefly, between weathers."
04

Overprotective Parent

"It's 23° but you'll want a jacket. I don't care that you're an adult. Take the jacket."
05

Judgmental Barista

"Oh, you're going out in this? Bold. Anyway, UV's a 3, so. Do what you want."
06

Passive-Aggressive Yogi

"The wind is 11 km/h. It's fine. Everything's fine. We don't have to talk about Saturday."
Pick a Look

One forecast.
Five entirely different apps.

Choose how Brrr looks, not just how it talks. From restrained editorial to full broadsheet contempt — and your home screen widgets, lock screen, and every card follow the look you pick.

Cartagena · 17:20
23°
Cartagena
Partly cloudy · H24 L11
The sky is behaving. Don't get attached.
— The Deadpan Curator
01

Refined Editorial

Serif headlines, hairline rules, accents kept to a whisper. The default, and the one you'll ship to your group chat.

FrauncesGeist Mono
BRRR Nº04717:20
23°
Cartagena
The sky is behaving. Don't get attached.
Op-Ed · Deadpan Curator
02

Broadsheet Brutalism

The background takes on the condition's color. Masthead, slabs, a headline that shouts. A fashion magazine that lost its patience.

Archivo BlackInter
BRRR #047
23° Partly
cloudy
Don't get attached.
— the curator
03

Weather Zine

Xerox grain, rubber stamps, torn paper, type that won't sit still. For when the forecast deserves a punk broadside.

AntonCourier Prime
cartagena
23°
Partly cloudy.
Feels like 22°.
The sky is behaving. Don't get attached.
ExcuseWardrobeDefend
04

Quiet Minimal

Mostly whitespace. One typeface, ultralight digits, no chrome. The deadpan lives in the restraint itself.

InterHairlines only
brrr № 047
23° cartagena partly cloudy
the sky is behaving. don't get attached.
hum 46% UV 3 wind 11 ↓ falling
05

Color-Coded Tag Cloud

Every data point is a typographic tag. Color carries the category, size carries the importance. Maximalist, somehow legible.

InterJetBrains Mono
Home & Lock Screen

Get judged without
even opening it.

Widgets in every size, each carrying the day's verdict in your chosen voice. The forecast at a glance — the attitude included, free of charge.

17:20
Monday · April 20
Brrr · Cartagena 17:20
23° partly cloudy
The sky is behaving. Don't get attached.
hum 46% UV 3 wind 11 ↓ 1012
— The Deadpan Curator
Cartagena
23°
behaving.
partly cloudy
Taurus · today
Mercury is not to blame for your indoor voice.
Horoscope
23° · don't get attached
17:20
Monday, April 20
23°temp
3uv
46hum %
"Rain arrives Saturday. Bring skepticism."
— Last Warning
Same sky · six opinions

One forecast,
told six ways.

It's 14° and a touch gloomy everywhere on this row. Only the narrator changes.

"14°, overcast. The atmosphere is doing the bare minimum and expects applause."
Deadpan Curator14°
"PRESSURE'S FALLING AND SO ARE MY STANDARDS. Grab the jacket. GO."
Unhinged Meteorologist14°
"A grey sky. A falling glass. We are all, briefly, between weathers."
Existential Poet14°
"It's 14°. You'll want a jacket. I don't care that you're an adult. Take it."
Overprotective Parent14°
"Oh, you're going out in this? Bold. It's 14°, so. Do what you want."
Judgmental Barista14°
"It's fine. 14° is fine. Everything's fine. We don't have to talk about Saturday."
Passive-Aggressive Yogi14°
Underneath the attitude

It's a genuinely good weather app.

The snark is free. The forecast is serious — hyperlocal, hourly, and honest about what it doesn't know.

Atmospheric

Every number you'd actually check

Humidity, dew point, pressure trend, gusts, UV, visibility, air quality and pollen — laid out as one dense, legible page.

Your Atlas

Watch other places suffer

Save the cities you care about — or just enjoy. Each one gets its own running verdict, from "suspiciously pleasant" to "biblical."

Last Warning

A heads-up before it turns

One push, twenty minutes before the weather gets rude. No spam, no five-day anxiety loops — just the moment it matters.

The whole thing

Built to be looked at.

Editorial type, a reactive palette that shifts with the conditions, and a dark mode that means it.

5
App styles
7
Narrator voices
4
Profanity levels
3×
Widget sizes
0
Ads, ever

Let the weather disappoint you in style.

Download on theApp Store
Free, like the weather's opinions · iOS 17+ · no ads, no upsell